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The Forum Celestial Advisor

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G A R D E N I N G
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I love to share my latest "sunflower photos" as I come up
with pictures that even amaze me. I'm not used to having
a camera that does "macro" but it sure is nice because
it opens up a whole different world. The all-volunteer
sunflower forest is just getting into high gear and I'm
there to capture the "glory".



-- Edited by The Krink on Wednesday 27th of August 2014 02:10:40 AM

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"I live in the 114th most peaceful country in the world".

Uke


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Really great pics! Now what in the hell is that bright yellow 'bug' sitting on the first pic Krink? Is it a spider... Looks like it, but bright yellow? A space-alien spider thingie no doubt! A foreign, faux spider! Probly something the Chinese sent over ta spy on us!

                                            Sunflowers 8-26-14 002.jpg

                                           



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Uke


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Flipping the pic around a tad... Sure looks like a damn spider alright! A rare spider yep! But a damn spider anyway! Probly a bee eatin' spider at that! Bastard!

       Sunflowers 8-26-14 002-2.jpg

 



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Force Majeure

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That's Sunphlower Spider Beetle, yoUke Phukking Moran. Quit trying to doctor the pictures. YoUke can plainly see the sunphlower in the original.



-- Edited by Snippy on Wednesday 27th of August 2014 11:12:09 PM

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Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.  - Voltaire

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The Forum Celestial Advisor

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Uke I figure its a garden "crab spider" and yes is probly
hoping to "capture a bee". I've been amazed at what
"visitors" from the insect world are attacted to sunflowers.
Seen a lot of different. Last shot of this update from tonight
has a ladybug finding refuge/food on a sunflower. Been a
while since any clouds have been present at dusk and shooting
with a flash on every shot got a few of those clouds in the
background. I look forward to the next groovy sky to put
into the background of a sunflower picture.



-- Edited by The Krink on Thursday 28th of August 2014 02:04:09 AM

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"I live in the 114th most peaceful country in the world".

Uke


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The Krink wrote:

Uke I figure its a garden "crab spider" and yes is probly
hoping to "capture a bee". I've been amazed at what
"visitors" from the insect world are attacted to sunflowers.
Seen a lot of different. Last shot of this update from tonight
has a ladybug finding refuge/food on a sunflower. Been a
while since any clouds have been present at dusk and shooting
with a flash on every shot got a few of those clouds in the
background. I look forward to the next groovy sky to put
into the background of a sunflower picture.



-- Edited by The Krink on Thursday 28th of August 2014 02:04:09 AM


 Exactly! That spider thing IS a crab spider, disguised in yella! Better to pounce on, and eat unsuspecting bees, flies, and other juicy morsels. (As in this example from some other publication...)

...and it's ONLY the phemales of the species who eat other bugz! (Philthy bitches)

                      1024px-Spider_and_fly_April_2008-6.jpg



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The Forum Celestial Advisor

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That pic Uke is a "fly" getting attacked by the Albino
Garden Crab Spider which means you need to need
to give the spider more appreciation and love.

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Uke


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Uke does not extend ove to spiders! No matter what planet they hail from, or furren country sends 'em tu 'Mericu! ALL spiders are bad! PLS re-read last post... That bitch attaking, and EADING a fly!

One of many unsuspecting bugs, mentioned before in that very post! Uke has no ove for spiders! Bugs one may see are okay. Small bugs, not so much. Tiny bugs are questionable. The tiny ones are executed as soon as detected. The very small... Sprayed with lethal poisons, and eliminated!

Annoying teeny philth!



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Looks to me like there are 2flys in that pic. The unfortunate one that is getting eatin by the spider is getting reamed by the fly on it's back. 



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Uke


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Spiderz are not oveable, furry little critterz! They hate us! And we must kill them, burn them and do everything in our power to eliminate them!

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Nightmare in the making: Death by spider! Imagine you're an innocent bug doing what ya do ta survive... And all of a sudden outa nowhere, your worse nightmare grabs ya in its horrible mandibles, jaws filthy, oozing horribly smelly, juices... Then its jaws emit the killer dope, and you black out! When you finally awaken...you're being wrapped, and spun into a cocoon of sticky, smelly silky thread! And hung, where you'll be slowly turned into a pulpy semi-liquid substance spider food!

Then you'll be sucked out of your skin day-by-day... By the nastiest spider you've ever encountered! A she-spider... Filthy bitch spider!

                                    deathbyspider.jpg



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Force Majeure

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Troll wrote:
Snippy wrote:
Troll wrote:

  -- Edited by Uke on Saturday 30th of August 2014 04:00:01 PM PDT


 BoredPortal.com_You-win-the-Prize.jpg


  -- Edited by Uke on Saturday 30th of August 2014 06:29:59 PM PDT


 



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Do the math... 45 + 25 = 46 

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.  - Voltaire

Oh, shit. world.angry= https://youtu.be/x2YLS80Nmls?t=7m36s

Uke


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Well folks it looks as though the Splooge brothers have returned to annoy us with their prize awards to each other...for no apparent reason whatsoever!

Uke advises BJ.com readers, posters, and frenz to just ignore 'em. Eventually they'll just go away. (At least we hope they find another place ta haunt!)

Meanwhile let's turn our attention to not Uke's favorite topic, but since Krink decided Uke needed to be enlightened as far as arachnids are concerned... Here we go:

 

The 5 Most Interesting Spider Facts

Spiders are feared and disliked by most people (no shit?) but they are one of the most impressive, amazing and awesome animals on Earth. They are top notch predators and have amazing hunting skills. They have survived in the last 400 million  years (A blatant lie, since the Bibblel sez the Earth is 6,000 years old. Only!) now spiders exist all over the world in every environment. According to experts, there are 1 million spiders per acre on earth and in the tropical areas this number goes even higher up to 3 million spiders per acre. We've collected some of the most interesting spider facts; youll surely love to read. (As if...) Spiders are evil bastards, especially females!

Interesting Spider Facts

1. Spiders Can Provide Effective Pest Control

The first fact in these interesting spider facts list is about the benefits spiders can provide to humans. Domestic spiders can be very helpful for humans as they keep the insect population in control. The favorite food of spiders is insects and they like to eat insects like roaches, mosquitoes, flies moths and many more. Some of these insects like mosquitoes, fleas, flies and cockroaches can spread many dangerous diseases in humans. So spiders in fact are your best friends that help you in controlling pest population. (What the fuck are 'domestic' spiders?)

spider-01

2. Amazing Hunting Skills

In this interesting spider facts list, this fact is about the amazing hunting skills of spiders. All spiders have amazing hunting skills which they use to capture and kill their prey. Different species of spiders use different techniques to catch their prey. One species of spider that is known as bolas spiders uses a quite fascinating and amazing technique to capture its prey. Like most of the spiders, bolas spider doesnt weave or spin webs to capture its prey. It uses its silk as a weapon to hunt its prey. Bolas spiders make a capture blob with their silk which is attached to a thin silk thread line which is known as bolas. To attract their prey towards them, bolas spiders release some pheromones from their body. When their prey which is mostly consists of moths comes in their range, they swing their bolas at their prey and catch them like a fisherman catches fish with his fish hook.

spider-02

3.  Fish Hunting Spiders

As weve mentioned before that spiders are one of the most skilled predators on our earth. Usually spiders are considered to be only land dwelling animals that only prey upon land insects. But spiders will never cease to surprise you. There are many species of spiders that are skilled in hunting fish. Here are some of the most interesting spider facts about these fish hunting spiders. These fish hunting spiders are called dolomeds and they are also known as fishing spiders and dock spiders. These spiders are found on every continent of earth except Antarctica. Small spiders usually eat insects but the large spiders of this species like fish more than insects. These spiders reach near the bank of a stream or pool and stay alert. These spiders have claws at the end of their front legs. When they see any fish near the bank, they attack it very swiftly by running across the surface and catch it with their front legs in their claws. Then they inject venom in their prey that makes it immobile.  Spider then drags it to the bank and eats it. A species of spider known as six-spotted spider walks on the water to capture its prey. Another species of spiders called diving bell spider can actually go beneath the water and stay there for almost a day. These spiders weave a bubble like structure around them and trap air in it. When the air runs out, they come to the surface for refill.

spider-03

4. Jumping Spiders

Jumping spiders are known for their unique and amazing ability of jumping long distances when they are hunting or when they are in danger. Here are some of the interesting and interesting spider facts about these jumping spiders. Jumping spiders are very commonly known and wide spread all around the world. The jumping spider family has about 5,000 species of spiders. Jumping spiders dont have very strong legs to jump but they use hydraulic pressure system of the body to jump. This system transfers fluids in their legs by squeezing and altering the pressure of body fluids. These fluids expand their legs and enable them to jump. These spiders use their jumping technique to capture their prey.

spider-04

5. Some Spiders Live Together and Weave Large Webs

The last one of these interesting spider facts is about the spider species that like to live together like ants. Spiders that live together Spiders are usually known as quite anti-social and mostly they like to live alone. They are usually very aggressive towards other spiders and they can even eat them. But there are some species of spiders that are quite social and like to live together. Most of these spider species lives in tropical areas and some of them are even found in United States. These spiders build a large web which increases their chances of capturing prey. By weaving big webs, theyre even capable of capturing large prey like birds and bats.

spider-05



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Oooohhh look, a fuzzy cute, cudd... Ugly muthafuckin' wolf spider! With horribly sharp fang things! They bite, emit poison, and then she eats ya! damn! What a fuckin' way ta die!

First though, you're paralyzed, helplessly paralyzed while watching her busily wrapping your dumb ass into a bundle of sticky, stinky threads made of a 'silk-like' substance she shits out, which hardens into a thread of spider silk, ta bundle yer body (now cathartic) into.

Ambushed. She gotcha! Now...too damn late! You can't even open yer mouth ta scream for help. face it. Dope! Wandering blindly inta her territory alone, defenseless... Bet ya feel really dumb about now don'tcha?

A week from now you'll be spider shit!

         wolf spider.jpg



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Irrational fear? Oh izzit? Really! Hah!

                    



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