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Post Info TOPIC: Torpedoes


The Forum Celestial Advisor

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Torpedoes
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I dint know what a torpedo was before I got on the RR.

Learned quick. They were available at just about every

depot I worked. Mostly used by train crews in certain

situations and by trainmasters hiding in the nearby

bushes. I had to think long and hard if I had to ever

go out and "strap" one of the baby's to the track and

I remember an instance working as an opr at Bham

were I was instructed by the dispr to go out and lay

down some torpedoes. Got to see them explode

as the train passed by...what a thrill. Mostly what

I remember from the torpedoes, is the "lead" strap

on each side of a torpedo, being used by a conductor

in the caboose days, to use that lead strap to wrap

around a "soup-ticket" that was to be thrown in my

direction. I mean it worked to perfection. Wonder how

many torpedoes in the box have any lead straps left?



-- Edited by The Krink on Saturday 19th of April 2014 02:07:05 AM

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Force Majeure

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Torpedoes have been outlawed since the mid-90's.

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You could have a lot of fun with torpedoes, as long as the person you were having fun with didn't see it coming. Just another example of the guvmint infringing on our fun.

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Force Majeure

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O'bama, why did you fuck up the railroad?

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Down in **** they have a 4 track yard. The %^$$$%%$% track is the furthest **** track and also happens to have a scale on one end to weigh all the loads coming out of *&** and ****.

You had to shove a car up on the scale, uncouple from it, let it set on scale alone, weigh it, couple back up and shove it far enough to have room for all the cars you were gonna weigh and leave the scale unoccupied when you were done. Somebody new moved into the lot right next to where the weighed cars used to stand and he bought a big Rotweiler. The brakie on this job was about 5'4", and that dog was dam near as big as he was. He was scared of that dog and left the dog know. So now, everytime he weighs cars that dog is down there waiting on him, and he has enough chain to almost get the Brakie. The brakie called the guy out who owned the dog and the guy just sat on the porch and laughed at him.

Guy said OK I'll fix that dog, SO the next day he goes down there and spots his first weighed car and when he comes back, he drops off the car and here comes that dog runnin, so he bends over like hes showin his ass to the dog, who really goes into a show barking and gnashing his teeth and lunging at the end of his chain, mere feet away. Guy strap 4 torpedoes to the rail 5 feet apart. Jumps on last car and goes down and weighs it. He rides em back towards the tied down car and he gets off grabs the cut lever and tells the hawg ta kick em and then stop. Perfect. Old Head B&O Conductors up in heaven were beaming in pride with the skill shown by the crew.

Here comes that dog running at full speed all he can see is a car coming and he's gonna try to tear the ass out the pants of that guy. When the car got close to the end of the dogs chain, the dog didn't see the guy on the side of the car and he musta thought something was wron cause he sat down and shut up, licking his chops. That is, until the first torpedo went BBBOOOOOOOOOPOOMMM!! The ears on that dog musta felt like they were about to fall off his head and 3 more explosions rang out on the otherwise calm afternoon. The dog started running the other way just like someone had set its ass on fire. The old boy sitting on the side porch fell the hell out of his chair and was hiding behind a flower tub certain that a drive-by was occurring. The dog ran till he got to the end of his chain and did the sudden stop where his neck stretches out a couple feet and his feet go flying past him just like a tom and jerry cartoon. then that dog proceeded to the safety of his dog box. And that's where that dog goes everytime he sees something moving on the railroad. You can hear him inside that dog box wimpering. Never used them for flagging, but they were good for other things. That's why they took em away. That and You opened that box and saw one of those old torpedoes in there that had sweated and had that coating on them, like dried nitroglyserine that would sweat out of a stick of dynamite and could go off just by touching it.

Anyway the guy was legend who I'm talkin bout. Hes long retired now, but he was a comical fucker. There was a time 2 crews of us were walking down to the station after parking the engines for the night. This guy had picked up a cat and was holding the cat upside down telling everybody it was a female cat. One guy turned around and said how do ya know, and this guy held the cat out to him and showed he had his little finger shoved up the cats**** and then he laughed like a maniac...

 

That and we had a guy (who is off all the time safety man now a days) who used to dare new guys to strap one to a rail and hit it with a hammer. No one ever did



-- Edited by Calvin on Saturday 19th of April 2014 09:22:26 AM

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Old head B&O conductors make it to heaven?

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The Forum Celestial Advisor

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Calvin wrote:



-- Edited by Calvin on Saturday 19th of April 2014 09:22:26 AM


 You opened that box and saw one of those old torpedoes in there that had sweated and had that coating on them, like dried nitroglyserine that would sweat out of a stick of dynamite and could go off just by touching it.

 

Yeah Calvin I know that look very well...like big sugar crystals. Ignorance is bliss

with any concern over the age of the torpedoes..I guess. Never examined

one to see if it had an expiration date.  Snippy says all torpedoes expired

in 1990. An era of RR fireworks came to an end.



-- Edited by The Krink on Sunday 20th of April 2014 02:16:38 AM

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Uke


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Not exactly what Snippy said...

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Professional Asshole

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My dad used to bring those things home when I was a kid. Not sure for what reason though. We had more fun with the fuzees...

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Force Majeure

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You can simulate a torpedo by strapping a fusee to the rail.

Careful! The starter charge on a fusee is the same shit as a torpedo. Throw torpedoes into a fire barrel ('member those?) and they burned red.

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Do the math... 45 + 25 = 46 

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.  - Voltaire

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The Forum Celestial Advisor

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Getting back to what ingenious ways conductors used to deliver a
soup ticket to me being the operator. The lead straps of a torpedo
were very common and some wrapped the torpedo around a soup
ticket and threw it at me. Fuzee caps stuffed with a soup ticket were
pretty popular and yes soup tickets rubberbanned around a fuzee
and tossed my way. I always appreciated some conductors sense
of humor over the years and the "little prizes" theyed throw off
at 20mph.

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You do get accustomed to throwing things off and getting the "Payload" right at the feet of the recipient on the ground, wether it be something as small as a hose gasket, paper, and some larger things like an air hose wrench.

One thing I never could do was drop a fusee on a road crossing and it would stay burning. Dam fusee would always break right beyond the burning portion and go out. Knew guys who'd just flip it out the cab and it would land in the middle of the crossing pointing towards traffic and keep burning.

 



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Unstable & Irrational

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I am going to start practicing by throwing them on old couches.

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Internet Punk

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Ever try to attach a torp. into a knuckle before someone made a joint?



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Barely a pulse...

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Brizy wrote:

Ever try to attach a torp. into a knuckle before someone made a joint?


 Ha ! Seen it done, yes. We had a crazy M.F. 'n train order operator / prankster extraordinaire that regularly fucked up the summertime grain rush shortage Conductors by callin in a very sedate radio voice to tell the way freight/psgr mixed train tail end right after they gave the OK to go to the head end, that there was an extra Winnipeg Free Press he could hand them if they wanted it.  "Almost forgot...Right on.. just come out back and I'll hand it to you, buddy " then he would go back inside and sit at his old time wood frame station traditional command post - big bay window, big desk, big bright smile on his four eyes,thick lens,  heavy plastic framed glasses nerd face , with his hands over his ears just before the...

...BAM !...BAM ! .... BAM ! BAM ! BAM ! BAM 

 Phuukkk me  ! I can still recall my tortured ears ringing like it was last week.And his insane roaring Satanic laughter over the radio so loud you could hear it very well despite the EEEEEEEEEEEE inside your dope smoked + a little hung over head punctuated by .... an again very sedate, relaxed .... "have a good trip home, boys, See ya next time eh ?  "

 

 











-- Edited by Thunderwagon5000 on Tuesday 6th of May 2014 09:10:24 AM

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