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Speed Whacking
(Preview)
Driver abuses speed limit and himself, court toldJuly 31, 2008 09:38amA TERRITORY man filmed himself speeding at 150km/h while masturbating at the wheel of his drug-laden car, a court heard.His Holden SV6 was allegedly laden with 5kg of drugs, including two cannabis plants resting on the back sea...
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Meat Tenderizer
(Preview)
Fort Worth woman accused of beating husband with meat tenderizer 01:45 PM CDT on Thursday, July 31, 2008 By DAN X. McGRAW / The Dallas Morning News dmcgraw@dallasnews.com A 31-year-old woman has been arrested for beating her estranged husband with a meat tenderizer during an argument, Fort Worth...
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Party Balloons
(Preview)
Inmates To Get Free Condoms In Solano CountySolano Prison Part Of Pilot ProgramPOSTED: 4:49 pm PDT July 30, 2008UPDATED: 7:44 am PDT July 31, 2008 VACAVILLE, Calif. -- A controversial new pilot program providing free condoms for prison inmates is in its final planning stages. The Solano State Pris...
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420
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Thanx Suckers!
(Preview)
Exxon Mobil Posts Largest Quarterly Profit Ever$11.68 Billion Profit Boosted By Record Crude PricesHOUSTON (AP) Exxon Mobil reported second-quarter earnings of $11.68 billion Thursday, the biggest quarterly profit ever by any U.S. corporation, but the results fell well short of Wall Street e...
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More ICE wrecks
(Preview)
IC&E derailment closes key Minnesota highway (The following story by Paul Walsh appeared on the Star Tribune website on July 30.) MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. A well-traveled highway in southeastern Minnesota will remain closed for many more hours today as cleanup continues after a train derailment...
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TV star to security guard
(Preview)
Jul 31 1998 Diminutive actor Gary Coleman, former child star of the ABC television sitcom Diff'rent Strokes, is arrested in Hawthorne, California for allegedly battering an autograph seeker in a uniform shop. Coleman, then a security guard at Fox Hills Mall, was shopping for a bulletproof vest. -...
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I agree...they owe him an apology!
(Preview)
And a refund of all the money he spent...and maybe a few free meals ta make him feel better! Stinky gambler fuming over NJ casino ejection July 30, 2008 8:24 PM EDT ATLANTIC CITY, New Jersey - Yes, Michael Wax stank. He's the first to admit it. The 440-pound (200-kilogram) New York City man said he was p...
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Uke
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They're back!
(Preview)
And headed towards YOUR town! Yikes... Cheech and Chong reunite as feud goes up in smoke July 30, 2008 6:14 PM EDT LOS ANGELES - Their feud finally having gone up in smoke, Cheech and Chong say they're eager to get back on the road for their first comedy tour in more than 25 years. "We had such a lega...
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Uke
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The bullets should be dipped in pig blood
(Preview)
Bali bombers seek 'execution without pain' JAKARTA, Indonesia (AP) -- Three militants awaiting execution for the 2002 Bali bombings plan to challenge the legality of death by firing squad, but it was unclear if the move would lead to a last-minute stay, their lawyer said Tuesday. Imam Samudra, one...
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Fund raising must be getting TOUGH!!
(Preview)
Vegas police: Jerry Lewis cited for gun in luggageWednesday, July 30, 2008 8:43 AM EDT The Associated Press LAS VEGAS (AP) Police say they have confiscated a gun belonging to Jerry Lewis that was found in the 82-year-old entertainer's carryon bag as he prepared to fly to Detroit from Las Vegas. Las Ve...
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Calvin
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No toe tapping required in Bangkok
(Preview)
Thai school offers transsexual toilet By Jonathan Head BBC News, north-east Thailand A new toilet sign has been created at this Thai schoolWith its spacious, tree-lined grounds and slightly threadbare classrooms, there is nothing obviously unusual about the Kampang Secondary School. It is sit...
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God wasn't his co-pilot
(Preview)
Body of ballooning Brazilian priest found at sea Wed Jul 30, 1:51 AM ET RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - The body of a Brazilian priest who floated out over the ocean suspended by hundreds of helium-filled party balloons, has been found off the coast of southeastern Brazil, police have confirmed. The corps...
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No apology Starbucks!
(Preview)
http://online.wsj.com/public/resources/documents/info-STARBUCKS_080718.html
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Preacher Scott was trying to save her soul from the evil Coney Island Wife Tamer
(Preview)
Preacher Arrested for Breaking into Home, Stealing Sex Toy A Haywood County pastor is accused of breaking into a woman's home and stealing a sex toy and a bottle of personal lubricant. 48 year old Scott Murray faces felony burglary and larceny charges. He was part of the Pastoral Ministries and Outre...
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Just checked my fridge...
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(Preview)
...and no, I don't have any ketchup, or catsup. But I do have watermelon. Fresh.
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Uke
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Hey PhonyNewsFeeder...
(Preview)
----------------------------------------------------- Sheriff: US woman sat on boyfriend's toilet for 2 years; didn't want to leave bathroom March 12, 2008 3:05 PM EDT WICHITA, Kansas - Deputies say a woman in western Kansas becam...
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Uke
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This may be bad.
(Preview)
Or not. Perhaps rehab. Or not. What I'd like ta know is this: Where the hell did this guy come from? Is he an Earthling? DUI charge may be blemish to LaBeouf's rising star July 29, 2008 4:50 PM EDT NEW YORK - In a town overrun with young stars behaving badly, Shia LaBeouf has appeared as something of a Holl...
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Uke
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I was only kiddin'...
(Preview)
...when I told Troll ta get rid of my dog Buddy! But he musta took that seriously... And he literally fed the dog, piece by piece ta "Chunky," the cat... Now the Troll's want somebody ta 'adopt' ol' Miss Chunky! A 44-pound cat needs a new home in New Jersey July 30, 2008 2:08 PM EDT BLACKWOOD,...
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Can you hear me now?
(Preview)
Verizon Solicitor Arrested For Indecent ExposureWILMINGTON, Del. (CBS 3) Police in New Castle County arrested a Verizon solicitor for lewdness after witnesses reported seeing him masturbating while sitting on a street in North Wilmington. Authorities say Daniel Chelland, 18, of a Garfield Av...
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It's back with a vengence
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(Preview)
Mostly SunnyHigh 95°F Precip 20% Wind:SSW 6 mphMax. Humidity:51%UV Index:9 Very HighSunrise:5:31 AM ETAvg. High:82°FRecord High:97°F (1999) Heat Advisory /O.CON.KPHI.HT.Y.0001.070608T1600Z- 070609T0000Z/ NEW CASTLE-MERCER- GLOUCESTER-CAMDEN-NORTHWESTERN BURLINGTON- CHESTER-M...
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Caption this.....
(Preview)
Body Found Aboard Delta Jet In AtlantaATLANTA (AP) Delta flight attendants found the body of a woman in the restroom of a plane that landed in Atlanta early Wednesday morning, a spokeswoman for the company said. The crew noticed the restroom was occupied on final approach, spokeswoman Keyra Johnso...
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I'm Shocked!
(Preview)
Bridge failure may have led to derailmentBROWNSVILLE, Minn. -- A train derailment in southeastern Minnesota near Reno could be related to the failure of a wooden railroad bridge. Department of Public Safety spokesman Doug Neville says it's not clear if the privately owned bridge collapsed under...
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Joker Arrested
(Preview)
Joker BustedCostumed Batman fan accused of memorabilia theft at Michigan theater JULY 28--Meet Spencer Taylor. The Michigan man, 20, was arrested early yesterday morning for allegedly trying to steal Batman posters and other collectibles from a theater showing "The Dark Knight." A...
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Roll out the barrel
(Preview)
Horrified cottagers find body in barrelBy: Chris Cariou Updated: July 24 at 04:20 PM CDT Print Article E-mail Article Two cottagers were horrified when they discovered the decomposing body of a man stuffed face-first inside a barrel fl...
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Gun Nut open fires at church
(Preview)
Man Open Fires At Tenn. Church, 7 InjuredKNOXVILLE, Tenn. (CBS) A man walked into a Knoxville, Tenn. church and open fired Sunday, injuring 7 people, CBS station WVLT-TV reported. The incident took place at the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Church at 10:15 a.m. Church members said children from the c...
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