A deer...where? Whaddya mean we hit a deer? We're in an airplane dammit! How in the hell...

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/02/15/plane-hits-deer-while-taking-off-from-north-carolina-airport.html

This is fuckin' riduculous! Just when ya thought it was safe ta fly... Snakes on a plane! Oh Jeezuss! Now the deer attacking?

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/local/article132868979.html

Everybody's gotta be armed. Pass out gubs prior to boarding, turn 'em in at deplaning! It's the only way to ensure safety!