Let me start out by saying... Fuck Ranger Uke!!

Now that the pleasantryies have been exchanged..

A stump is a PAIN IN THE ASS.

The sooner gone the better. You can drill holes in the muthafawwker and pour in a chemical

then watch yer gray hairs grow till it rots out. Chemicals speed up decomposition by a factor of 1 day AFAIK

yer results may vary. Its a PAIN IN THE ASS to mow around it every lawn day. 

You can use a backhoe, But if the roots are grown around/thru yer gas line, sewer line, electrical service, any other damn thing

buried in the ground you fergot about, ya just might yank a lot more than you expected outta the ground, (if yer lucky--

if yer not lucky you will damage something that will fester underground outta sight and cost you $$$$$ later.)

Also, be ready to haul in a lotta top soil to fix the tire tracks, and damage that the backhoe will do to yer sod.

What a PAIN IN THE ASS!

You can dig around it and get a chain around it, and then goad yer neighbor who has the Hemi Ram Pickup, to a challenge with

the neighbor with the F350, and the neighbor with the Powerstroke Silverado to see whose truck has the most "guts".

However, fer same reasons as the backhoe, yer lawn is gonna suffer.

What a PAIN IN THE ASS!

Time fer a lil story:  

My dad had a huge maple tree in his backyard that 3 people standing around couldnt touch hands together.

The muthafawwker leaked sap out all the time in the growing season that was like molasses.

The swing that was under it was mostly unusable. It was basically a bird shithouse.

That and the agent from Nationwide was out and said that it could fall on the house, and a savings could be had on the

insurance policy by cutting it down. Dad wondered how they would cut it down without hitting the house, the neighbors house,

or flatten his fence. Anyway a co was hired to remove the tree. They asked dad if they should remove the stump.

My Dad, being the rugged individual he was, and retired, (so he had plenty of time) seeing the added $$ it was gonna cost him to

have the stump removed opted to remove the stump himself.

He started by digging, and then digging somemore. Followed by more digging. The neighbors started coming down to the

backyard to lean on the fence and offer words of encouragement. Soon a bet was made on just when he would succeed in

freeing what Gawwd had intended to stay in the ground fer a hunnert years or more.

Now it was a matter of honor. after 3 days of digging and cursing (which the spectators considered the frosting on the cake)

and cutting with a saws all, he finally got down to the one root in the center, which went straight down into the ground, and

would take another days digging to get to a place where he could cut it. He exclaimed it was the root straight to the jaws of hell.

There was a dark color in the pit, which the local town Manager claimed was the start of a vein of coal, and since Dad did not own the

mineral rights for the property, that someone had to be notified before he could continue digging.

So Da climbed out of the pit, and said no more digging. He cut off some of the smaller roots, to expose a healty looking one that stuck

straight out, and he could get a chain around it.

The next morning he got out his lawn tractor and affixed the chain to the hitch ball.

He went around and around fer a couple hours, with the cheer of the neighbors ringing in his ears, before the stump finally gave a creek and a crack!!

and broke off the final root, slumping to the side of the hole.

It took a neighbor a couple hours with a chain saw to cut the stump up.

it took a dumptruck load of dirt, wheelbarrelled from the driveway down behind the house to fill in the hole.

To this day there is still a depression in the ground where the tree was.

If you'd be able to ask him today...he'd tell ya ta have the other guy remove the stump.

What a PAIN IN THE ASS!! 

I had two other neighbors who had a stump or two to remove.

Checked into renting a stump grinder.

It was $165 bucks for the day. Used my pickup with ramps to move it.

So we split it up $55 bucks apiece.

We didnt dig around the stumps or anything. We surmised that if that thing could chew up a tree, a little dirt wasnt gonna hurt it.

Pushed it over to the stump, put the cutter wheel on top of the stump, and set it to makin wood chips.

Let it dig down into the ground swiinging the cutter back and forth over the stump.

Did a helluva good job!

No more PAIN IN THE ASS.

That bitch is gone!!

Woodchips make good fertilizer, just raked chips and dirt over where stump used to be.

Hosed the bitch off, took er back to rental store and unloaded it.

I was happy with my $55 investment.

Every once in a while mostly in the spring, some awful lookin mushrooms come up where the tree used ta be...

Good Fawwkin Riddance.