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STICKY:
Dumb ass of the month
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Man Who Hid Knives In Pants Stabs SelfGRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (AP) A man who hid hunting knives in his pants to try to steal them from a western Michigan store tripped while fleeing and stabbed himself in the abdomen, police say. The suspect was hospitalized after Monday night's attempted theft from a Mei...
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Faux News Feeds
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Driverless cars honking
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[video=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XcLPR1sodfw]
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Thunderwagon5000
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Meanwhile High up in the hills of Canuckistan ...
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Was going to show it in "Good Eats" but cuz potential risk factors decided to go here as "news" Musta been a high potency strain, eh.Soldier who gave out cannabis cupcakesduring live-fire training endangered 150 troopsA stoned soldier nearly crashed a truck, one stared at trees instead of guarding...
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Thunderwagon5000
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Red Team Fined
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They did as they pleased back then, tu, March 25, 1899, from the pages of the Peninsula Enterprise, Accomac, VA:
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Cy Valley
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Fifty Years Tonight
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Fifty years ago tonight a band that wasn't even the headliner took the stage at Fillmore East, Johnny Winters was. Play all night! an audience member yelled On March 11th, 12th, and 13th of 1971, The Allman Brothers Band performed at Bill Grahams Fillmore East, and recorded it for a live album....
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Cy Valley
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Pointless Joke
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Well, this is pretty pointless and I didn't know where to put it but thought I'd put it here, it made me laugh.
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Cy Valley
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Texas to Succeed (again)
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Troll
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Off the Edge
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Saw this story and thought, Snippy, this would NEVER happen to you. It's a long ways down:(CNN) A woman in Australia fell off a cliff to her death on Saturday after trying to take a photo at the precarious location.Rosy Loomba, 38, was with her husband and child when the accident occurred at Grampian...
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Cy Valley
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1004
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Don't Feed the Alligators
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The alligator paid the price for the woman's stupidity. COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) The woman attacked and killed by an alligator in a gated community along the South Carolina coast was visiting the homeowner to do her nails and was trying to touch the animal when it grabbed her, authorities said.After b...
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Cy Valley
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1004
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End of an Era
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https://www.baynews9.com/fl/tampa/ap-online/2020/03/12/end-of-telegraph-era-brings-question-whats-a-telegraph
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Cy Valley
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Does She Have What It Takes to be a LAMCO Official
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Sharon Osbourne has revealed she forced a former employee into her burning house to save artwork, before terminating their employment for not laughing about the situation afterwards. Osbourne made the confession on the Would I Lie To You? Christmas special, admitting she tore an oxygen mask off t...
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Cy Valley
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Faux Nooz wants you!
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Well maybe not you per se, but they DO want your eyeballs on the TV when they're broadcasting their take on what they call 'the news,' which we all know is just slightly (?) tilted to the right. But hey that doesn't mean they're wrong right?
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Uke
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The "Fat Slob" is outraged, and saddened...
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...and blabs on and on about it! Listen as he goes on about immigration reform, and heinous criminal evils brought through Mexico. https://www.foxnews.com/politics/trump-suggests-linking-background-check-legislation-with-immigration-reform-in-wake-of-shootings W...
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Uke
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Tried It One Time Tu Many
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A magic escape artist who didn't escape, this time:(CNN)Indian police have recovered the body of a stuntman who went missing in the Hooghly River Sunday while attempting a daredevil trick, authorities confirmed. Chanchal Lahiri, 40 -- better known by his stage name "Jadugar Mandrake", or "Wiza...
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Cy Valley
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Trump's tax returns
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Ya really wanna see 'em? Honesrly? Whaddya figure you'll learn by having his taxes (returns) for the last five years, or so revealed? Really? Big fuckin' deal! I don't wanna see his taxes. Fuck him, and his fuckin' taxes. Shove 'em ya fat slob! [url]https://www.foxnews.com/politics/trump-tax-r...
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Uke
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A Little Help, Please
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Poor guy, just trying to help his family, supposed to be legit from Wooster, Buckeyeland.  -- Edited by Cy Valley on Monday 28th of January 2019 05:10:35 PM
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Cy Valley
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Wanted
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Look out, another one who would be difficult to pick out of a lineup: HAMPTON ROADS, Va. - (AP) - U.S. Marshals need help tracking down a convicted sex offender recently released from a Virginia prison after he failed to show up at a transitional center in Texas.News outlets report authorities say 44-...
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Cy Valley
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So, You're At a Yard Sale and There's a Freezer
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http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/n-woman-arrested-mom-corpse-found-freezer-article-1.2795480
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Cy Valley
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Wal Mart milk?
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Why not? The fuckers sell damn near everything else! Just another reason ta boycott 'em. Again! http://www.reuters.com/article/us-wal-mart-stores-milk-idUSKCN0WO37R At least this time, said milk is s'posed ta be produced here, in the USA. Indiana. Maybe. But they'll figure out how ta ship t...
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Uke
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You hadda know it was the next big 'thing'
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Not that there's anything wrong... Well something about this just ain't right. Last we heard ol' Johnny Bobit had his lopped of, but had it reattached just in time ta keep it working. Phew... But volunteering to chop yours off? Nope! http://www.foxnews.com/health/2016/05/16/latest-penis-don...
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Uke
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Cat HAYTERS Eliminate the Problem
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So, what they did was get rid of the root of the problem instead of the felines.MANSFIELD, Ohio (WCMH) Outside Patsy Hudsons house on Spring Street, a wreath sits in her memory.Hudson, 62, hadnt been seen by neighbors since July 2015 and was reported missing shortly before Christmas.Police in Mansf...
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Cy Valley
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Oh JeezussfuckingKeyrystalmighty!
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More weird TV schitt. Just when ya figure it'll be a fairly boring spring/summer season, this: http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/sarah-palin-embark-new-gig-tv-judge-n543866 Maybe this should be relocated to the Politics Phorum... nah!
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Uke
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Save up your preyers!
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You can help send healing power to Alaska, and the wonderful Palin fambly. The latest disaster was just waiting to re-attract attention since Bristol's latest issues have faded... http://tinyurl.com/z3k7h57 This incident has put the entire clan straight in the public aye again! (Not that they w...
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Uke
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Sometimes a Good Plan Isn't
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This suburban Columbus thief didn't think through all the variables. You got to absolutely love his name:HILLIARD, Ohio - A burglary suspect in Hilliard was caught after he couldnt drive his getaway vehicle past police.Zachary T. Morone is charged with burglary.Hilliard police say Morone was...
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Cy Valley
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Racy Mecca Newscast
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Meanwhile, in Mecca:From the FCC ruling against WDBJThe Roanoke Times reports WDBJs $325,000 penalty is the largest the FCC has ever enforced for a single indecent broadcast at a station.The Federal Communications Commission plans to fine WDBJ (Channel 7) in Roanoke $325,000 for showing sexual...
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Cy Valley
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